| On Life |
[Jul. 11th, 2007|08:42 pm] |
Life sucks.
There is no other way to describe the topsy-turvy events that transpire as we step through our lives. One moment we can be flying high, feeling as if we are on top of the world and as if nothing can stop us. Those are the moments when we are absolutely, undeniably powerful! invincible! superhuman! Of course, the next moment we can crash-land into a desolate land full of barren nothingness, where we must claw and bite and fight our way back to the top.
No, it's not fair. Not much in life is fair, as certain people know.
There are two types of people: those who are sheltered, safe, ignorant creatures, and those who are not. The latter are the ones who are exposed to the harsh realities of life without a shred of mercy. I am most certainly not sheltered. I have seen Hell; I have jet-skiied on the Lake of Fire and then had to save my own sorry self from falling off and drowning. I've seen everything from domestic violence to divorce to meeting my biological father to having him let me down. Call me a broken record, but life sucks.
It seems as if I'm constantly a step behind everything; as if I'm in some sort of marathon race where just when I think I've passed Life and am ahead of the game, finally winning, it comes up and passes me by. I'm left in the dust, having to chase after Life, which is a damn fast runner.
There's a light at the end of the tunnel, of course; that idealic future that involves a white-picket fence surrounding a gorgeous blue house on a grassy green hill, where inside the mother is making a five-star breakfast and the father comes down the stairs, dressed and ready for work. The future that involves the father leaning over and pecking his wife lovingly in the cheek, while the children are normal, happy kids and the family pet (let's call him Rover for stereotypical purposes) bounds in from outside and sneaks underneath the table in effort to sneak a few bites of breakfast food that will soon be falling onto the floor.
I know my life right now will never be like that. But there are times when my family life almost comes close, so close to an idealic setting, and then everything shatters before my disbelieving eyes. It's almost enough to make someone bonkers.
However, each time my world falls to the floor and I have to sweep everything up again, I stop and think: why can't I make my own idealic future? Why can't I have that white-picket fence when I'm older? Why can't I learn from what's going on around me, learn from my parent's mistakes, and use it to my advantage? Well, I can. And I plan to.
My dad always tells me that I have to go through tons of crap so that I can become stronger in the end. Maybe that's true, Dad, but I think it's for another reason: it's so that I can create the life I've always wanted by learning from everyone and everything.
I've been through a lot, and that may be an understatement. I'm surprised I'm not some sort of raving emo chick who constantly wines about how unfair everything is and cuts herself for attention. Instead, I'm...me. Happy, humorous, and bright-eyed for what the future has in store for her.
The moral of everything? My family life isn't top-notch, but that doesn't mean that my family life in the future has to be the same. I can have that awesome guy who can support me in anything and everything. I can have that awesome house that I can call a home. I can have that life I've always wanted...all I have to do is make it so.
Life can suck, but.
Life can be beautiful, too.
And I find that funny. |
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